Is Monogamy Possible in Today’s Society?
Webster’s dictionary defines monogamy as, a) marriage with only one person at a time, b) the practice of having only one mate (like Canada geese) and c) marrying only once in a lifetime.
In today’s society, is monogamy possible or more importantly, desirable?
What are the benefits of monogamy to both partners? What are the drawbacks? Do the drawbacks rule out the benefits? How does one practice monogamy in a bi-sexual, trans-sexual or multi-sexual social climate?
First, the benefits of monogamy: A) to the married couple, B) to their children and C) to society in general.
A) Monogamous marriages, in which both parties feel secure and loved, benefit the couples themselves, their children, the workforce, their neighbourhood and their society as a whole.
Statistics from the University of Chicago show that married people live longer, are less stressed, make twice as much money, have twice as much sex and experience half the violence of live-alones.
B) Children: someone once said that the best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother. (And vice versa.) In a loving, monogamous marriage, parents create a safe place for children to grow up. The children don’t have to worry about their parents divorcing. They have a male and female role model to look up to and copy.
“Divorce is typically the worst thing in a kid’s life,” says Dale Loftis, a licensed family and marriage therapist at AGAPE Psychology in Reno. “Kids are brainwashed into thinking that divorce isn’t going to affect them. In reality the loss, anger, being in a strange house and abandonment make it the most severe event, more so than death, physical or sexual abuse.”
Perceived drawbacks to monogamy: “Monogamy –The same person…the same face, the same body, the same lips, the same everything, from this day forward for the rest of your life. Can you handle it?” Leanne Bell
Think about it: if a man is married to the ‘same’ woman for forty years, he will have experienced marriage with a 20-year old, a 21-year old, a 30-year old, a 33-year old, and so on … a different woman every year for 40 years … do the math, women and men are not the same at 20 as they are at 30 or 40.
I forget who said it, but to know all women, you need to know and love one woman really well.
“If you understand, as I mentioned before, that sex for humans is as much about the mind as it is the body, then it makes perfect sense that the most fulfilling sex occurs within a mutually loving, trusting relationship. The intimate bond you form with the person whose character you love as much as their body.” Leanne Bell
http://www.andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.com/48.htm
In light of the above, monogamy appears to be desirable, but is it possible in today’s society?
Much depends on the mutual good will, sensitivity and affection of individual couples who offer 100% of themselves to each other, 100% of the time. If a Canada goose can do it, why can’t we?
Copyright reserved 2010
Pene Beavan Horton
